Once upon a midnight DEAL WITH IT.
I give a fuck, nevermore.
merely a bro, nothing more.
#suddenly there came a swagging as of someone gangsta rapping #rapping at my chamber door
Quoth the raven, “Swag galore”
i’d actually go running if there wasnt anybody around to see me stop after 43 seconds
this is so true. Sadness is so addictive and it’s also comforting. If you had been wrapped in a cold blanket for most of your life because your life was freezing and you were promised warmth if you could make it to a certain place. How would you know that warmth exists and would you risk taking off your blanket? It changes how you see things. Pure sadness makes everything look melancholy and grey. Depression is different. Depression is brutal but sadness? Sadness is almost elegant in the way it makes you feel.
Eighteen years later and I still haven’t memorized the sound of my heartbeat or learned how to inhale the coldness of limbo, of in-betweens, of the hours between sunset and sunrise. They don’t teach us these things in school. They don’t teach us about emptiness, about feeling hallowed and numb and how the coldness of Spring will settle in your bones until warm tea no longer holds the cure. They don’t teach us to drown our sorrows in water, not alcohol, because it does less damage and there are oceans full of salt that will heal bruises and broken dreams. They don’t teach us forgiveness or compassion or the standards of apologies. They teach us language and syntax and spelling, but not that words can be ticking time bombs and explosions make the earth tremble with fear. They speak of atoms and particles and the laws of thermodynamics, but not that we are matter and cannot be created or destroyed, just become something entirely different. Less orderly. They forget everything is composed of stardust, including us, and that we inhale the same air our ancestors did. They tell us to believe in ourselves while simultaneously refusing to acknowledge our recklessness, our existence, our energy. They tell us to go to school, get a job, settle down, and raise a family - in that order. They teach us how to remain insignificant in this vast universe of constellations and galaxies and infinity.
I wonder when they will teach us something worth learning.